I’ve been having strange dreams lately. I don’t usually dream much, but when I do they tend to be whimsical Willy Wonka type dreams. The past few weeks or so my dreams have been a random assortment of misadventures that usually end the same way: with one of my co-workers trying to kill me.
The co-worker in question is someone I affectionately refer to as Sunshine. Sunshine is not what you would call a “people person”. He’s perpetually grumpy and tends to take a perverse pleasure in other people’s misfortune. One of the few times I’ve ever seen him smile is when a co-worker cut their hand and had to leave early to get stitches. I get along with him fine, but he is not well generally well liked at the office.
Sunshine has crept into three of my dreams in the past two weeks. In the first dream I was at work minding my own business, when a masked gunman started opening fire. Being the selfless hero that I am, I shuttled my weaker co-workers to safety then prepared to take down the assailant. As I did this, I noticed the gunman none other than Sunshine. Sunshine started taking aim at me. He obviously was not impressed with my heroism. I dodged his bullets Matrix-Style bobbing and weaving until I ultimately got close enough to disarm him.
Good guy 1, Sunshine 0
In the next dream, I did not fare as well. It starts off with me asleep in my bed at home. I am awakened by a loud noise. I go to check on the noise and notice my picture frame has fallen off the wall. I pick the frame up, place it on my kitchen table, and hop back in bed. Suddenly, I feel someone’s hot breath cascading over my face. I look up and see sunshine in hovering over me in his trademarked black hoodie. He starts choking the life out of me until I manage to kick him away. We then engage in a knock down, drag out Kill Bill-esque ninja battle. Out of nowhere, swords appear and we swashbuckle like there’s tomorrow. Unfortunately, the month of karate lessons I took when I was 8 were no match for Sunshine’s cunning mastery of swords. He eventually knocks the sword from my hand and goes for my heart. Before he pierces my flesh, I wake up.
Good Guy 1, Sunshine 1
The last battle was decidedly uneventful. In fact, it wasn’t even really a fight. I am standing on the balcony of my apartment entertaining friends from out of town. There is a knock on the door. A friend opens the door. At this point, Sunshine headbutts punches my friend in the face and proceeds to torpedo towards me head first. In retrospect, I had enough time to move out the way. In the moment I was so stunned that I froze and Sunshine hits me in the stomach with the crown of his head. He follows that up with a WWE-style clothes line and I go tumbling over the balcony.
Sunshine 2, Good Guy 1
I’m not exactly sure what this all means. I’m almost certain Sunshine isn’t plotting to kill me in real life, but I’ve been wrong about that sort of thing before. I will say Sunshine was in an unusually good mood the other day. It was the kind of good mood that was so out of character for him, that it made me a little suspicious.
The more I think about it, I may be in trouble.











































